Day 50- May 1, 2020

Day 50- May 1, 2020

Well that jumps out.  Day 50.  When this journey started, I genuinely wasn't sure how long it would last, but 50 days seemed possible.  I was cautious with even thinking that though, knowing how ahead of myself I might be getting, and realizing that the best way to handle uncertain futures is to focus on one day at a time.  At least, that was what my therapist always told me.  The reason was simple- you can spend a great deal of energy preparing and worrying about a potential future, and lose sight of the here and now.

R.'s third grade group had a semi-catch up day.  They had a couple of assignments, but otherwise, were tasked with simply reviewing to make sure they hadn't missed anything, and helping out with household chores.  This seems like a really great plan- the kids will help with cooking and cleaning!  But then think through the reality- we have really limited cleaning supplies.  If I let her at the bathroom with the Clorox, she will likely use the majority of it in one fell swoop, and I'm preferable to her avoiding cleaning products and their harsh chemicals as much as she can.

So that one was out.  Vacuuming seemed a safe bet, but we only have carpet in the living room, and there's furniture on it, so I needed to stop what I was doing, move all the furniture so she could vacuum, and then move everything back (something that I appreciate, but I would have preferred it to happen after my work day was over).  The carpet looked smooth and beautiful when she was done, but she wasn't satisfied- she wanted to cook.

She's nine.  We have a limited food supply and as I've mentioned previously, delivery is not exactly happening on a regular basis.  I also read several stories when I was teaching my nonfiction writing class about students who had scalded/badly burned themselves when they were about nine, so I didn't want to leave her unattended, no matter how smart she is.

So again, I had to stop what I was doing to supervise.  We decided a quiche would work, since we had the two dozen eggs my friend had dropped off earlier in the week (in the trade for wine).  I pulled out the food processor, and she cracked in six eggs.  She then peeled the silver wrappers off of six Bonnebell Swiss Cheeses (the kind that come in a circular cardboard container), and those fell in with satisfying "Fwaps".  We added three quarters of a cup of whole milk, and about a quarter cup of onions, their tangy smell stinging my nose as I chopped them (I didn't want to give this responsibility to R., who has never cut anything with a super sharp knife, and without the safety net of the ER, it wasn't worth the risk).  R. then hit the pulse button, and the ingredients surged together with the ferocity of a tornado.  When they were totally blended, she and I poured the mixture into the pie crust and set it in the oven.  Over the next hour, it bubbled and expanded, creating a perfect mushroom-like top, and she and E. were beyond thrilled at the ooey-gooey-ness of the finished product.

We even got to share some when Nana and Popum came by to drop off a "care package" including

magazines and a USB drive.  The USB drive contained hundreds of photos that had been uploaded from old slides of my mom's.  There were photos on there in black and white of my dad's family, technicolor ones of my mom as a child and newlywed, and pictures of me and my sister as young kids on vacation, in the yard, and generally hamming it up for the camera.

It's remarkable to see these vibrant faces, and makes me smile to see the similarities between my parents, their families, and my sister and myself (and my kids).  There's the Dad's goofy gap toothed smile, R.'s seriousness reflected in Aunt Cath, and photos of my mom that my kids swear are me.  But some favorites are of people my kids never met, who I keep alive through anecdotes.   I love having the pictures to trigger the stories, so that my girls can get to know the family that came before them. I'd seen many of the slides so many times over the years that I'd memorized them, but in this batch, there were a few that I didn't remember, and they made me smile, giving us glimpses into another time.  In one, my great grandma Marie, who I called NonNon, and her sister Angelina are sauntering down the beach, wearing fitted below-the-knee dresses, full jewelry, carrying large handbags and sharing a plaid umbrella to shade them from the sun.  My Italian side has many fantastic pictures through the years on beaches- from when NonNon was young, wearing bathing suites that cover more than most modern summer outfits, to groups on the Jersey Shore in the 50's and 60's , but this may be my favorite.

Nicole as a Granny, Rebekkah as Strawberry Shortcake
and me as Princess Leia- circa 1980-something

After a long day of intermittent rain, the sun popped through the clouds as the afternoon began to wane, and the girls were able to play outside.  Normally, this tires them out, but E. seemed to have extra stamina, and when I turned on my computer at 9:50 to get onto a surprise birthday zoom call for my oldest friend, Rebekkah, she was still awake (in bed, but w-i-d-e awake).  I let her join in the event, and she watched eagerly as Rebekkah's husband Mike walked the laptop into their 5-month-old son's room, and yelled "Surprise!" with all the people on the screen.   We waved at the grid of people, who were all waving and cheering back. She was most excited to see her Auntie Coley and Uncle David, who were both online to help celebrate.  We sang "Happy Birthday" (terribly- there's a delay on zoom, and while there were several musicians, that wasn't enough to overcome the technological limitations), and then  Rebekkah went through everyone on the screen saying a personal hello.

We met when we were toddlers, and Nicole was an infant.  Ours is the longest standing friendship I have- we've been through her moving to Minnesota as a child, having her move to New York shortly after I left for California, and then move from NY to California a few years after I moved back to New Jersey (remarkably, she lives a few miles from my old place in Burbank).  We've been to each other's weddings, and both married our high school sweethearts (we literally started dating them the same year).  Her first child and E. are less than two months apart in age - and the day after I gave birth, she came to the hospital to visit me, even though she was 8.75 months pregnant at the time.  We have a great picture of her holding E. and laughing, because her son was kicking the baby through her belly.  Our kids have been able to hang out several times since, and we want to get them together soon, once this is all over and they can again come visit New York (or when we can head west to California).  She turned 40, and I was so happy to be able to participate in a social distancing party she'll never forget.  I think it a lot in these times, but it really is the little things- the human connections, the friendships, the love- that endure during difficult times.