Day 100- June 20, 2020

Day 100- June 20, 2020

I had a really bad panic attack today.  I don't know if it's mom's house going on the market, the stress of the end of school and, you know, the hundreth day of quarantine for the pandemic going on, but it was awful.

I took a Benadryl, because my allergies are still acting up here and there, but then when the panic attack hit, I didn't know if I should take my medication for that too (I didn't want to have any bad interactions), so I called one of my best friends in the world, Heather, who also happens to be a psychiatrist.

Having a person that you know will drop everything to calm you down is a gift.  I know my husband would do that, but having a friend (who has been part of my life since she and I were nine) and happens to offer therapy for a living, is incredible.  She was able to talk me through the panic attack, and assured me that my dosage is low enough that I could absolutely take it and have no issues (besides possibly becoming more sleepy).  She's seen me have a few anxiety attacks- she was with me when I was driving across the country and had a particularly bad one in Las Vegas (and called the hotel doctor to come make sure I was okay).

I feel awful when I have these things, and worse when they interfere with things my kids are supposed to do.  Today, we had plans to spend the evening at my friend Shauna's house, hanging with her and her two daughters (O and C- O is one of my E's best friends).  But when this happened, I called Shauna, explained what was going on, and let her know I would call when I woke up from a nap.

Naps have a way of helping with these situations, and this one did the trick (that, and the medication).  Rather than risk a later panic attack, Shauna and I decided I would head over with the kids right away, so we ended up having an impromptu water-and-relaxing hang out session.  The girls played in the little pools, and Shauna and I talked about mom issues and school-related issues on her patio.

The girls also played with rocks and pavers that were left over from Shauna's recent patio project, and worked on creating a "kitchen" with them.  I told Shauna it reminded me of how my best friend and I used to create rooms in the woods between our houses, using sticks, rocks, and anything else we could find to make the "walls" and furniture (we were very creative children), and sent off a photo to Ali, who was the friend I used to create with.  It's amazing how I can send her a photo, 30+ years after we've done something, and she knows exactly what I'm remembering.

Old friends and new are gifts, and I'm lucky to have both.  As we navigate this crazy new world, they are more important than ever to hold onto.