There are some things in this world that make no sense. When one of my best friends called in March to say his daughter had a brain tumor, that was one of those senseless things. When I read the message that she had passed on, "Heaven gained an angel yesterday. Our hearts are broken. There are no words, no measure for how deeply you will be missed", and saw her adorable little face, I starting crying, and fell onto the couch in a heap. Her name was Makenzie, and she was nine years old.
I've known her since we moved back east seven years ago. The first time I met her, it was to give her a Dora the Explorer themed birthday present. She was a somewhat shy little girl, skinny, but once she warmed to you, she had a smile that could make everything seem right.
Her daddy Teddy is one of my best friends. He and my husband played lacrosse together in high school, got stuck at my house in a blizzard, and in the summer, the two of them took me pool hopping when I was 17. He's a free spirit with a huge laugh, a wicked sense of humor, and loves his daughter more than his own life.
To say he beams when he speaks of her would be like saying the sun simply shines. He calls her "Monkey", "Munchkin", "Chunkers". His stories of her inevitably amount to laughter and pride, the kind only a parent can produce.
One of my favorites is one he told us as a warning when my daughter started to talk. "They'll repeat anything," he said, his eyes getting wider as he crossed his arms, then pulled them open. "When Makenzie was a two, we were driving to the supermarket, and some asshole cut me off at a light. So I said 'fuckin' tool'. Well, we do our shopping, and we're about to get in line, when someone cuts in front of us. And I hear this little voice from my cart say 'fuckin' tool'." His eyes were shining at the punchline, laughing as he said "I didn't know whether to be proud, or you know, just walk away, because that lady was giving me a look…"
Another time, he was so excited about how much she looked up to him. And she DID. This child was a daddy's girl if ever there was one. She had fallen asleep in his arms on the couch, and he, as parents try to, took a nap while she napped. He was almost giddy, telling us that when he woke up, she was snuggled in the exact same spot in his arms. The only thing was, she'd taken a sharpie and copied the designs of his tribal arm tattoos onto her tiny arms in the black ink- AND mimicked his goatee and mustache on her face with the same. "Her mother was NOT happy when I brought her back that night," he said, laughing.
I find it hard to believe this lively, funny, creative child is no longer a part of our world. We are saying goodbye to her today in what will rank as one of the worst days in the lives of all those who knew her. There's strength in numbers, and for the last several days, we have been rallying around each other, sharing notes of love and loss. It's so cliche to say no parent should have to bury a child, but it's true.
Today, we saw her father, who we all love, for the first time, and there are no words to express the depth of the pain we feel for him. There were too many tears, people gripping onto each other, hoping that the physical contact would somehow squeeze away some of the pain. There were parents, children, relatives, and her little troop of Girl Scouts, all wearing their sashes in solidarity and carrying yellow flowers in their hands. At the end, there was the release of balloons into the sky, and bubbles blown after them by her friends, a final gift up to heaven.
As a parent, you want to see your children grow, be strong, and happy. My heart aches for his loss, for his girlfriend, Mak's "Stelle", who has been a second mom to her for the last several years, and for Makenzie's little brother, Krane, due in three weeks, who will only know his big sister as a legend. I'm grieving for her mother, stepfather, her toddler brother Philip, and all who loved her as well. But we'll be sure to tell Krane what a fighter she was, about her spirit and her laugh, and through videos, pictures, and lots and lots of love, we'll try to make him understand.
We love you, Monkey. You'll always be here in our hearts.
Makenzie's Obituary: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/njherald/obituary.aspx?n=makenzie-florence-hooke&pid=171225741&fhid=12098&FBNF=ShareObitAt#.U49N9drVilQ.facebook
In lieu of flowers, the family requests that memorial donations may be made to the Heroes for Makenzie Fund. The website is https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/0h84/heroes-for-makenzie
No comments:
Post a Comment