I started out the day by wrapping my legs around my husband and snuggling in close to him. He's like a giant space heater, and our room is cold in the mornings. Waking up next to him is one of the great joys of my life, knowing I have someone next to me who loved me unconditionally, and still tells me that he's the luckiest person in the world because I chose him.
It's important to pause in the mornings, to take a deep breath and take in a moment of gratitude. In the midst of crisis, I'm finding that more and more important. Today signaled the first day of the kids' and my spring break. We originally had intended to drive south (just until we got somewhere warm). The plan was loosely to cruise to South Carolina, and meet my sister there. Our aunt Joanna passed away in December, the day after Christmas, and her husband, my dad's brother Bob, had been something of the family photographer. Joanna's sister Janet had told us that there were boxes still unpacked from when she moved to South Carolina from Texas after Bob's passing, and was going to send them to us, but we figured we could make it easier on her, and make a pilgrimage down there to take home some of the family treasures. We would toast Joanna and Bob, and then spend some time relaxing in the beautiful sunshine, something I know they would have appreciated.
Unfortunately, that wasn't to be with the pandemic, because no one is going anywhere. So instead, we will be making the most of what is supposed to be a beautiful weekend and early part of next week in our own backyard. We're sowing more seeds, and transplanting some tiny plants. Our hope is to be able to get the garden section of the yard ready (hence why we were using the chainsaw the other day).
The girls spent much of today playing in the back yard, using their American Girl Dolls (and imitation American Girl Dolls) to recreate episodes of Miraculous, and running around. They also decorated the driveway again (each time the rain washes away their creations, they get a fresh canvas of asphalt).Mom and Bryan got a delivery from a local farm, and called because they had initially bought more than they needed so they could give some of it to my grandmother. But since my stepfather wrote a strongly worded email to the head of the grocery store that canceled their order, that head person actually called him, had everything rerouted, and my grandmother got her delivery. So they dropped off their extra produce with us, which made for some very excited kids, and a delicious dinner of homemade crispy potatoes, sautéed brussel sprouts, and tomatoes stuffed with garlic, oregano, rice, and tomato (and in the kids' cases, cheese). It also meant we got to see them in person, standing a solid 30 feet away, but they watched E. do some shooting on the soccer goal, and practice her punting. They also got to see the plants we've been cultivating, and talk to us "in person." R. is taking the separation really hard, and just kept repeating how much she wanted to hug them, but we have to maintain distance to protect all of us. It's not fair to the health care worker and essential workers who are literally risking their lives. If we have to restrain from hugs and being in close quarters to save lives, we can do that.
I did a good amount of reading, and am truly fascinated by learning about the Yankees of the 1930's. History has always been one of my favorite subjects, and sports are easily my favorite past time, so combining the two has been a great way to spend some quiet moments. I love reading anecdotes about the game, which is still so similar, and yet starkly different than it used to be almost a hundred years ago.
There was, of course, also videochatting. I have two good friends who live around the corner on a quiet side street behind us. We got "adopted" onto their block years ago when we first moved in, because we knew a couple that lived on the street, Dawn and Brian. Brian's parents were best friends with my late Granny, and Dawn had employed Jeff and me as waitstaff for her catering business for much of our early twenties. We had been taking a walk with our then-3-and-4-year-olds, and had spotted Dawn sitting on the front stoop with two women my age, while a bunch of little kids ran around from front lawn to front lawn. After much laughing about the coincidence of moving around the corner, she introduced us to Heather and Jamie, and their kids (who were 6, 5, and 4, and 4 and 3). Our kids instantly hit it off, and have been inseparable ever since. Jamie's 4 year old has non-verbal autism, and about a year after we met them, his therapist and her church fundraised and surprised her family with a fence for their yard, so that her son wouldn't be able to run into the street. Since then, we call her yard our "country club", and on any given warm day, you can find her and her kids, and a bunch of neighborhood kids and their parents (us included) hanging out on the stoop, or on lawn chairs, beverages in hand, and snacks for the kids nearby.
We've missed our get-togethers, and while the kids play "imaginary catch" across the street, so that
we maintain social distancing, it's not the same. So today, Heather, Jamie, and I had our first virtual country club hangout session, complete with cracking up while using the Facebook Messenger App. Jamie's husband is a firefighter, and is in self-isolation in their bedroom while she takes care of their kids, since one of his coworkers just tested positive for this virus. We're all saying lots of prayers he is okay, and needed the distraction of chatting with each other and focusing on silly things, like special effects that make it seem like Jamie is a fighter pilot in Star Wars and I have pink hair like Jem.
Having a tribe of strong women friends is something that has been one of the most important parts of my life. I always had a crew growing up, and still talk to three of them almost daily. When I moved to Los Angeles, I would host girls' night in. The only requisites were no make up, and you had to wear pajamas or sweats- since so many people were in the entertainment industry, it was the only way I could think of to keep it from becoming a networking event. It was about being goofy and playing board games, not trying to befriend someone to advance your career. I still talk to several of those women. When we moved back here, I continued with this tradition, then had kids (which put any and all parties on hold for a while), and then began curating a mommy group of women who make me laugh, love my kids and their kids, and make me feel like a better person.
When I got my new job, working at a high school, one of the best perks was that it meant I could be there to pick up my daughters from school. I love seeing their smiling faces, but I also love that I get to see my friends every day, and make new ones. People are by nature pack animals- we need others to get through the day-to-day, and when there is stress, we need to open ourselves to others, to bring in our friends to offer compassion, ideas, and words of wisdom. Perhaps that is another reason for my taking up writing on this blog in a time of crisis- it makes me feel like I'm adding another connection for someone, offering another person going through something similar a hand. We could all use one right about now.
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