Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Day 41- April 22, 2020

Day 41- April 22, 2020


The girls got to see their grandparents today.  After breaking the news to them (as gently as we could,  through our own tears) that their friends I and J had lost their mom to cancer, the girls needed a pick me up.  Enter Grammy, Aunt M., Nana and Popum.  They all had things they needed to drop off or pick up (we've had M.'s DoSiDos and Tagalongs since the Girl Scout Cookie sale ended the week before self-isolation).

Nana and Popum got here first, dropping off donuts from a store in Montclair that is doing curbside pick up.  Their dog Abby whined from the window, wiggling her hind quarters around like a fish and trying to figure out a way to escape the car.

The "Hug Stick"
R. made a "hug stick" out of a long tree branch and some chalk (the chalk was for decorating- whoever holds the stick gets covered in purple and pink chalk, a gentle reminder to wash their hands).  The idea is that the stick keeps you at a safe distance, but each person holding the end of it is kind of giving the other a virtual hug.

This was a day where I just didn't want to do anything.  The weight of what our friends were going through with losing their mother/wife was too much, and that anxiety I've kept at bay for a long time is really bubbling.  You can only cry so much, and it's exhausting.  The kids weren't focused on school (who can blame them) and it's cold out, so most of the day was spent indoors, just trying to get through by playing with the dollhouse, some Legos, and cleaning (apparently, I clean when I'm anxious- my house should sparkle by the end of this pandemic).  I was supposed to have a group chat with my girlfriends at night, but two of them had to cancel, and dinner was running so late that the other one and I decided to reschedule for another day.  My "home" friends and I had a later meeting, but this time, only two of us were on it.  I was grateful for a familiar face, and we both commiserated about how difficult this time is on everyone.  We also agreed that what my friend's children and husband faced today puts the rest of this stuff in perspective- money is just money, a job can be replaced. The most important thing is being there for our children, and helping them to feel safe and secure.

Hoping everyone else is doing okay out there.

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