Day 17- March 30, 2020

Day 17- March 30, 2020

Happy birthday to me!  While yesterday was all about my younger daughter turning 8, today was all about- well, my kids again, because that's parenting.  But I did get to celebrate a bit!  My girls let me sleep in (which was glorious).  When I got up, they each had made a card for me, and E. had made me several presents- a homemade kaleidoscope, a picture of the night sky, and a bunch of puzzles (word search, maze, etc.).

It was yet another school day, so I spent much of the morning catching up on work, writing out my Professional Development Plan and final SGO (too long to explain if you aren't in education. If you are, it's something you don't want to think about during a pandemic).  My kids were relatively calm and did their work admirably, only stopping when I would periodically get dings on my phone indicating someone was texting or calling to wish me a happy birthday.

I had the opportunity to video chat with my mom (where we both got to laugh- sort of- at the "23 hours of labor" story), my in-laws and aunt-in-laws, and my niece and nephews.  I organized a group chat, which resulted with three or four friends on a video chat at a time, which was a wonderful way to stay in touch.  It just felt good to see my friends, even if it was through a computer screen.  I continue to marvel at the fact that that's even possible.  I remember when I watched Back To The Future 2 as a child, and there were video phone calls in the movie.  It seemed so impossibly futuristic at the time,  yet here we are (granted, there are no real hover boards, but still, I'll take video chatting over flying a few inches above the ground.  With my balance, I'd probably fall anyway).

I made homemade pizza (with dough made from scratch. Yea me- and my breadmaker!) and we had leftover soccer cake from Ella's birthday.  I even got to blow out a candle while my family sang to me.  And of course, I was able to scroll through happy birthday wishes on Facebook, something which always makes me smile.  Last year, I asked my friends to write down a memory they had of our friendship, and seeing what my friends came up with was one of my all-time favorite gifts.

It's the simply things like that that matter- the human connections. For me, it's never been about the party and cake, but rather the conversations, the photos so I can remember.  That said, I DO love a good party, because it means I get to have more time with my friends.  But I haven't had a big-time birthday celebration in a long time.  I turned 40 last year, which was celebrated with my two daughters deciding getting their ears pieces, and E.'s "sleep under" with her friends, complete with a handful of their moms hanging out with me on the back porch.  My mom's back porch, because we were still living there.  So not some epic, huge celebration, though the company was good, and my husband was a sweetheart, delivering snacks and drinks to the ladies while we laughed and lounged on the wicker furniture.

One of our silly pages from way back when- climbing a giant rock

The last big celebration was my 35th birthday, which I wrote about here.  It was a nostalgic trip down memory lane, as I realized I was on the north side of my thirties, and how much had changed (two kids, a new house, new friends) in a half a decade.  It also caused me to think a lot about the birthdays I'd had growing up, how as we get older, the parties seem to dwindle as the years add up.  For a long time, my mom told me how quickly time went by, and while I was aware of the spinning of the clock, it didn't seem overly rushed.

Yet now, at 41, I have to say it's mind-boggling to think how much blurs together.  Being stuck at home in isolation, there's a lot of chaos trying to keep the kids occupied, getting work done, and cleaning up after said kids (especially when it's cold and rainy).  But there's also a lot of time to reflect.

While going through old photos on my computer, I came across a bunch of videos of my girls when



they were toddlers, wandering around with their pudgy little legs and squealing while they bounced around singing "Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah".  It feels like it was just a few weeks ago that they were bounding over couches and onto cushions arranged as an obstacle course, when in reality, it's been years (although the couch arm jumping game they invented last week is definitely a cousin of those earlier obstacle incarnations).  E. wanted to see pictures of me when I was younger, and we pulled out an album that was from college and right after.  There I was, with dyed blond hair, dancing at a Disney with soccer friends during the National Championships. Photos from concerts during the summer I worked at Elektra records, hanging out with my now-stepbrother backstage at an Eve 6 and Bon Jovi concert.  There were more with my now-husband with a mohawk ("Daddy had such cool hair!") and his bandmates.  There were also some with my girlfriends from elementary school who my kids only know as "Chloe's Mommy" or "Dylan's Mommy", but in the photos are road trip buddies with bright smiles and exotic locales behind them like Beale Street and the Grand Canyon.

Hanging out at a concert circa 2000

I love taking my girls on journeys through the past, to show them what's possible and what made me into the person I am today.  So often, we get sucked into towards the future and we forget to embrace what's going on now, and appreciate who we were way back when.  I'm grateful for every one of the birthdays I've had, every one of the moments that got me to this place- in my home, with my family around me (physically and virtually), safe and content.