Today was another cold, drab day. We spent much of it doing our daily school work, with occasional
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| Homemade strawberry jam and leftover birthday cake |
R.'s class did a Zoom meeting (without their teacher- one of the moms arranged it), and spent a solid hour chatting with her classmates. There was a lot of giggling, and I was reminded once again of what it must have been like when I was a teenager and my mom had to basically give up her phone line to me and my sister. They eventually got a second land line (you remember, those phones that were connected to telephone poles and the wall), which made it a lot easier for everyone.
Jeff and I also spent a good chunk of it focused on two things- looking into unemployment, and doctor's appointment he had to go to.
Unemployment is essential right now, because his work "isn't essential" and while we have gone from a two income to one income family, our mortgage is still a two-income mortgage. Which means we need a little help to make sure we can make payments. We're hopeful that the new multi-trillion dollar stimulus package plus the new unemployment because of the pandemic (which is even covering for independent contractors like my husband) is enough for us to get by. We've already put his student loans on hold, so if we can get the mortgage thing squared away (and by that, I mean the payments moved to 2045 when we are otherwise done paying the mortgage, NOT furloughed so we need to come up with a whole bunch of money in three months, which would be, um, impossible) it would be a load off my mind.
In the mean time, I am grateful I have a job that I can telecommute for. I have friends who have taken salary cuts, and friends without any jobs in their families right now, so zero income.
And I also have friends who still have to go into work- and onto the front lines. One of them is married to a firefighter in a nearby city, and she said "every four days, it's like we reset to zero". Another is a nurse in a rural critical care hospital that serves everyone within a 100 miles. They simply do their best to protect themselves, wearing masks and gloves, and taking showers before leaving work, and immediately when they return home. They are brave, but not fearless- they have concerns about this virus, they know the risks, but they carry on because they must- they have a calling, and they are helpers by nature.
I love to help others, it's why I became a teacher, but I'm also a giant ball of anxiety a lot of the time. Anxiety disorder, and panic attacks were things I tried to hide for a long time, but eventually realized, especially as a teacher, that being honest about it helps both me (because I can ask for help when I need it) and those around me who may have the same affliction.
Since I have been dealing with these things since I was a teenage, I know what to do to avoid stoking them. I try to not watch the news or dramatic/scary television or films. Instead, I watch comedies on television, cooking contests, or home-based shows about redoing the kitchen or restoring a gorgeous Victorian house. In this pandemic, most of the time, I can just hunker down in our house, and to a degree, barricade myself from the insanity going on outside. Yes, homeschooling our kids daily and telecommuting for my job as a librarian are reminders, but we're safe, comfortable even. Except when my husband has to go to the doctor. Because right now, that is terrifying.
The reasoning isn't important- suffice to say, he has to go to his appointments. So we have been preparing for this, making sure we had a plan and calling ahead to make sure that the office was taking every precaution. Normally, these appointments can run for over two hours between the waiting room, back ups, and the drive (it's not that local). Today, his appointment was at 1, and by 1:27, he was on the phone with me while driving home.
He wore a mask. We have a few that we had kept because we knew he would have to go to doctor's appointments if this lasted long enough. He wore clothing that was easily removable, old sneakers that he only uses for painting, and brought a can of Lysol spray with him. He said when he got there, there was a receptionist at the main door who was in charge of calling people when it was their turn while they waited in their cars. There was another receptionist in the office to take payment, and finally, one doctor. They all wore masks and gloves, and they all made sure to keep their distance as much as they could.
After his appointment, he used the Lysol to spray himself down, hopped into the car, and called me. I brought a plastic ziplock back out for the mask (in case he has to go out again), and a garbage bag for his clothes. He stripped down on the back porch ("I had to wait a few minutes in the car because the neighbors were out and I didn't want to moon them"), then walked into the kitchen and straight into the downstairs shower. I've spent most of the time since praying he's okay, and by proxy, the kids and I are as well.
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| Video chatting with her third grade class |
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